Letting Go, Bit by Bit

Good Morning,

Tuesday but feels like Friday. Exhausted from travelling is killing me.

I was wondering why I tend to overthink about parking, but then I realised, From the beginning of my career, my first job, parking was never covered by the majikan. I remember back when I was working at Phileo Damansara, gaji ciput je but I paid almost RM250 monthly just for parking. I remember my parents had to use their own money to cover my first month of work. It was tough, but I was fine with it sebab alasannya I didn’t have working experience, so I just picked up the experience. Plus, I already knew that I had to pay for parking, so I was well aware the benefit wasn’t given.

My second official job also required us to pay for parking, though it didn’t come out of my own pocket since the company covered it for me. But there was free parking at UTM, so that felt lowkey secured from my perspective, when my parking allowance was retracted at least I don't have worry too much about it.

My third job in Cyberjaya, the parking was free — so I shifted my mindset that parking is a basic amenity that employers should cover. I survived there for 4 years, and as for the reason I left… let’s leave that in the graveyard.

Now I’m in my fourth job, moving toward my fifth (in shaa Allah, Aamiin). In the beginning, I never realised I needed to pay for parking since it was all provided. I actually got a lot of benefits in my first year — house, parking, even travelling allowance. But now that we’ve moved to USJ, all the basic amenities and benefits are gone. So I do feel wronged and underappreciated. That’s why I make a lot of noise about those missing benefits.

Am I mengada, or do I have valid reasons? Maybe with over 10 years of working experience, I’ve become more demanding. Hopefully the next company will provide the basic amenities.

So as I reflect today… it’s fine. Bayar je lah parking tu daripada susah-susah fikir and stress about it. I’m starting to accept the fact now. Pray for my mental health.

Sometimes the smallest things feel the heaviest, but I’m learning that not everything deserves space in my mind. I’ve survived harder seasons, and I’ll survive this one too. I’m not demanding—I'm finally learning what I deserve, and growth will always raise my standards. It’s okay to outgrow what once felt enough, because my peace matters more than any job or benefit taken away. So I breathe, release what I can’t control, and remind myself that choosing peace is still a form of strength. Whatever I lose, I gain clarity, and whatever I gain, I honour with gratitude.

Lah, datang pula orang tua ni. Pening. (boss kecik)