Hey! Irfan.

When you grow up and a little bit taller than me,

I want to reenact this picture with you.  

You are my forever precious little baby and no one can ever take that away from you. 

I miss you irfan. 

Even when all your baby teeth are no longer baby. 

I will always cherish you. 

I guess today is those day when I want to say I love you. 

Stay safe irfan. 

Day 1: Ramadhan 2020, 39 days of RMO

Online class is not easy, cause you not sure if your students understand or not. Let alone student whom have no effort at all to come during class time at Google Classroom or Google Hangout to discussed, or even doing the exercise given. Everything was given. Everything had been prepared and furnished with. Everything was directly spoon feed all they need to do is READ!

I gave up. I gave up for one class. Now I just give notes, explanation and exercise to do. I won't ask anymore. I just gonna follow the flow. Other class still bearable. Hopefully.

I'm not complaining or whining or even mad, I'm just disappointed how lightly they take this. I don't remember I was like that. Or am I? Can't they realize by now they are learning for free??

I'm just lost at word.

My back is hurt sitting for long hours but I feel under appreciated. I don't need flowers or red carpet but all I need is my students success. Their success is my happiness.

I NEED SLEEP.

I Thought It Would Last Forever, 25, 21

I met Farid when I was almost 26 yet 25.
After almost 5 years known a man.
Is not easy to forget a person that you talk everyday for almost 5 years.
I never thought I can ever survive a relationship of 5 years.
Now I put a stop to it
Not that I don't feel anything. I did. I was.
But
At some point
At other time
Somebody will probably ended it
Yes.
"sayangnya..."
But
Reality does not work like living in a dreamland.
In a dreamland we can do whatever we want
We can love without boundaries
With no one to object it
Then reality hit.
One of us need to grow
What if one day we wake up and regret this?
What if...
What if...
What if...
Sometimes I think Farid just filling the void I felt after my father left
Farid was a almost a perfect reflection of my father
He look like him..
He is him when my father was his age
Wandering
Lucky that my father had me
Farid is drowning in his own choices
I wanted to save him.. I did. I was
But you can't help people who do not want your help.
My father will always be my first love.
Always
As I buried Farid's memory
Along with the idea of my father in a man.
There will be no one like my father
There will be no one else like Farid.
But let's face reality
He is not the one.
He was never is.
Part of him always live in me.
But
It's time to let him go
We deserve better,

Everything going to be fine.
I know.

17 days of Restriction Movement Order

Weirdly I can write better at my whatsapp status then here.