O' I missed her

 I missed her a lot lately, but I didn't visit her graves or my father's, because I felt like when I did it felt so real that they've gone. I have lost my grandmother the same year. and for her I understand she have to go because she was so much in pain. I don't understand why I can't seem to wrap my mind that my father and my cousin also were so much in pain. I just thought there were too young to die. It's not that I don't believe Allah's plan for them, I just feel like it was too soon and I have so much to tell and so much to do together with them. 

We have planned many. To go to Korea together. We have planned to go lots of places together. None of it achieve because Allah love you more. I have make peace with that but there were times I miss you more. 

Life wasn't too bad for me these days. Sometimes I complaint too much, sometimes I'm just grateful that I have house to live in, a husband to talk to and a job to go to. Today I just missed her a little bit more that I used too. 

It's hard to become the one who left behind. When people die people feel sad for the death, but actually we should pity the livings. Dugaan kita lain-lain.