another day, another barate

bukan mudah untuk menimang cahaya mata

been married for two years now, waiting game is real. 

we have work so hard to get pregnant. but no good news yet. 

we don't really go to see doctor or having medical checkup or anything, 

because I believe that Allah has better plan for me so why worry. 

but it is the nature of human being to still worry a little 

even we know in definate that Allah will give when the time is right.

and still blaming myself for being so fat. 

sometime I wonder what make my husband love me. 

so I circle everything back to my insecurity. 

I was a few lucky that no one, no one ever asked me "bila nak ada anak"

some of my friends like having acik bawang asking the question over and over again. 

like I said I was the lucky few. 

maybe because my family is on another level of understanding and maturity. 

or maybe my family just appriciate me as me 

with or without the kid. 

Alhamdulillah. 

now I'm full and sleepy.